time for a lament

“Consider now! Call for the wailing women to come;
    send for the most skillful of them. 
Let them come quickly
    and wail over us
till our eyes overflow with tears
    and water streams from our eyelids.
 The sound of wailing is heard...

 Now, you women, hear the word of the Lord;
    open your ears to the words of his mouth.
Teach your daughters  how to wail;

    teach one another a lament.
 Death has climbed in through our windows
    and has entered our fortresses...

Jeremiah 9: 17-21

Let me cry out today, and for as long as i need. this is not  a season of celebration. this is a season of lament. we are being inatentive and disobedient to the divine call to lament, to cry, to mourn, to consider, to meditate, to breathe, to sigh, to moan, to rage, to heave, to lay on the ground exhausted, trembling; eyes swollen shut and red from crying; throats raw from sobbing and screaming. this is the posture i am embracing. i choose to wait in this lament. i choose to wail and rail against injustice, denial, apathy, complacency, comformity, complicit silence, oppression and suppression. 

i am tired of looking at pictures of forced smiles that don't reach the eyes; tired of hearing about how busy families pack as much activity as posible into their schedules to appear productive, well-rounded, and happy; tired of activities geared to "celebrate unity in community" yet further segregate the marginalized or the invisible; tired of entire sections of the US population being subjugated to tiranny, abuse, exclusion;

tired of legalized and institutionalized bigotry - especially in the name of religion and justice; tired of selective memory; tired of historical fragmentation and documentation to suit our own interpretation of events... i am exhausted...

and yet, i come up with one more breath, one more primal scream, one more tear, one more lament, one more hope that THIS is not all there is; that there is more, there is a better tomorrow; that there is a collective consciousness of love, peace, wisdom, healing, freedom, strength, righteousness, and justice.