Here it is, another cycle around the sun ends. Another one begins.
Are you excited? Exhausted? Expectant? Exasperated? Ex....? Ummm, cant think of another word beginning with "ex-" to contrast exasperated. C'mon, you cunning linguists, any suggestions?
Anywhooooo... since the last post, I've been meditating on a prayer of "examen". Not just as a daily discipline, but to contemplate and connect with the events and situations we faced during 2022.
There were trips, missions, encounters, projects, etc. There were emotions, laughter, tears, anger, joy, love, compassion, endurance, and steadfastness. There were hugs, lots of hugs. There was hot yoga, yin yoga, yoga nidra. Let's face it, there was a lot of yoga, with much meditation and contemplation. And, the moments that stand out the most were those morning conversations with my coffee buddy and my favorite theologian. I have been "spoiled" with these two amazing creatures. They care!
My statement of gratitude in this examen has to begin with God's presence, protection, and provision. We experienced and celebrated nearly every day. God continues to work and mold me after His image. I can say that I welcome this renewal and transformational work because I can trust the One who is faithful to complete it with love and a delicate touch.
Then, I have to remember and celebrate all the incredible people that provided opportunities to pray, to share in acts of justice, to hug, talk with, and speak for as interpreter and advocate. I'm grateful for my family, whether by DNA, by extension, social convention, or choice. I love youse guys!!
In this process of examen I ask Holy Spirit to lovingly identify those areas in my life that are in need of improvement. I think about my issues with body image, self-awareness, nurturance, and acceptance. Yes, I still have those moments; like this morning getting dressed and noticing the rotund nature of my bottom in the mirror it looked like the only part showing in the mirror was this grotesquely large derriere. Yes, I still look to the scale as an indicator of my self-worth. Yes, i still have a very distorted opinion of what constitutes beauty. That is all brewing beneath the surface. However, the time I spend obsessing over these things has changed drastically. For that I am grateful. Whereas a year ago i weighed myself daily, several times a day; now, I can go days without getting on the scale. As a matter of fact, in October I went through the whole month without weighing myself. Not knowing my numbers was not as anxiety provoking as it used to be.
Prayer of Examen:
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