walking in truth

 this morning i read, "there is so much power in walking in your truth". it causes me to think about the identification, measure, and definition of truth. i have spent so many years pretending and conforming to other people's standards yet nothing rings "true" for me.

i have taken aptitude tests, personality tests, horoscopes, spiritual gifts tests. i notice that some of it sounds familiar but it doesn't quite fit. so, i do not have an objective definition or measure of what is true for me. 

there are some things that i can identify as true for me. let's see, i am...

• creative
• intuitive
• compassionate
• passionate
• intelligent
• educated
• wise
• emotional
• transparent, to the point of being invisible
• fluid, yet deliciously thick and richly dense,
  
  
  
  like sweet foam on top of dark fragrant strong coffee

this is not who or what i aspire to be. this is who i am right now, without apologies, explanations, or justifications. i am navigating this terrain. at times it is dry and desert-like, other times a muddy slushy bog; mostly mountainous with meadows in between. ah, but there are those precious moments when i find myself on crisp cool sand, taking in the salty ocean breeze, bathed in sunlight, hearing the voice of God in the surf, and i sing along with it. 

THAT is when and where i am most free to be me. in that moment i do not merely exist. in that moment, i am. in that moment, i am one with the great I AM. it is a sacred moment, an experience that i relish, that i long for, and hope to be in for all eternity. i am at peace, sated, satisfied, grateful, in love, and being loved in its most pure essence.

so, i am writing a pledge with myself to leave behind those conventions that do not ring true for me. if something or someone is not healthy for me i will respectfully and caringly thank them for making themselves available, but i will not partake of them. at this point in my life i can choose my family, my relations, my tribe, regardless of biology, genealogy, faith affiliation, or belief structure.

THIS IS ME... now;

...tomorrow, perhaps there will be a different me, and i can't wait to meet her.