july 23... forever

 july 23... forever

this was our 40th, happy anniversary, my forever love!

i still remember our first "alone" date... our first kiss dancing and singing "blue bayou",

https://youtu.be/Kp9G0zkorio

i still remember the softness of your lips on mine, so sweet, so clean, so pure, so true... and we knew, deep down we knew that we had found our "other", our hope, our best, our forever.

passion is the best word to describe our relationship. passion to the nth power. it was tumultuous, full of emotion, screaming, anger, trauma, selfishness meeting selflessness, taking, giving, sacrifice. we did not know half measures. everything was pedal to the metal, ride or die, the fullest, deepest expression of love run amok. it was not pretty. it was messy and chaotic, earthy, organic, fluid and flowing, never 

ending. we went swimming in the storm, just dove right into the swells of the ocean and rode them for all their worth. we held on to each other, so tightly that at some point the two became one. it was the perfect amount of heat, pressure, and time. that was us and continues to be us!

i have a saudade for your physical presence, yet i sense you in my spirit. is that you hovering at the edge of my peripheral vision? is that you whispering "i love you" softly, tenderly, wonderfully, in my ear? is that you holding me in the middle of the night when i am barely hanging to that last thread of sanity? is that you? i'd like to think so.

https://youtu.be/eQul-rkcGPQ

yes, it takes every effort, every ounce of strength to keep moving in this plane of existence without you. it was not supposed to be this way. we were supposed to be walking the beaches in boriken, holding hands, picking up sea glass and sand dollars. i still remember that day in arecibo when we found a treasure trove of tiny sand dollars all along the beach. it was amazing. i remember running up and down the shoreline finding perfect little disks of joy. i know you were watching, burning the memory into our collective empathy, thank you!

i thank God for bringing us together, and keeping us together. it was worth it!