Woooohooo, it’s new year’s eve! Another year over, and I’m
glad it is. Today, I’m filled with expectation and trepidation for what is to come.
More ‘rona talk? More threats of domestic terrorism, inflation, and political
upheaval? All very real possibilities. BUT… there’s always a but, i am at peace, especially
when I choose to trust in the Lord’s wisdom rather than man’s limited
understanding.
Having “said” that, when I look back at 2021 there are so
many events and circumstances for which I am so grateful to have been present
and witnessed. I’m not going to enumerate all, as I take them to heart and
cherish those moments. There is one singular moment that has really shifted my
perspective, and opened up a world of new possibilities.
Early in November, for my birthday, I resolved to join former “army buddies” for a reunion. I was hesitant, almost petrified, to see them and be seen by them. The truth is I did not want them to see me as I look today. My dear little sister, Kelley, put her foot down, and would not take “no” nor “maybe” for an answer. She was determined to convince me to be there. So, with much fear and doubt, yet encouraged by my sons, I drove down to Savannah. It took every ounce of effort and energy for me to walk into the meeting place. Then, I saw them from a distance. The first one I recognized, Tony, quickly hurried to my side and wrapped me in a huge bear hug that eased some of my anxiety. Then, Kelley saw me, screamed, and I melted into the embrace. It was so good to see her in person!!! Next, came the biggest reunion,
Kelley, Lucy, and I were back together again.
Time just melted, the persistence of memory erased years of
separation and we just fell in step as if we had never parted. We reminisced,
we laughed, hugged, cried, got henna tattoos, ate, and celebrated every moment.
So good, so good!!!! We vowed to remain connected and meet once a year, at
least. These amazing women and their spouses are now in my life, again, and my
heart rejoices. This is one of those moments where the soul jumps and sings and
dances with joy, purpose, intention, pure love – unconditional, unquenchable,
unafraid, unrestrained, undignified, unpretentious, REAL!!!!! I get to share
myself, about myself, and of myself without masks, without the window dressing,
no make-up, in pajamas, with messy hair and we just don’t care, zero f****
given!
Hold on... wait... there are some moments that I reflect upon, although,
at first, I was astonished at the news. Two women transitioned and released
themselves from this plane of existence. Titi Priscilla and Titi Araminta passed
recently, within weeks of each other. Let me tell you about these great
sheroes. They were part of my life and exerted great influence. I can say today
that I am who I am because of them. From early on, they treated me with
intelligence, communicated with me as an equal, were exceedingly generous with
their sage and wealth of knowledge. They infused me with the desire to grow and
develop a sense of myself; to be independent; to not be influenced by empty
rhetoric, to appreciate beauty in everything; to challenge tradition, arbitrary
religion, petty humanity, conventional relationships, and gender conformity. I dared
to dream because of them. I wanted to be like them, eventually I became them; fiercely
independent, critical, insightful, deeply spiritual, a well-educated life-long
learner and seeker of wisdom. I still remember the day my father
unintentionally gave me the greatest compliment ever. He said, “you eat like your
aunt Priscilla”. He may have meant as a “put down”, but I relished it. She ate
unconventional food, took weird supplements, believed in healing crystals and
medicinal plants. I love it all. Moreover, I am so grateful for the seeds they
planted in me. they watered, nurtured, and watched me grow. Then, in their own
way, they ushered me into the world, occasionally connecting with me to make
sure I was still growing and bearing fruit. I love them both. They inspire me to
be a better mother, a better sister, a better woman, a better human.
I also have to document how grateful I am for my sons. This year, in particular, has brought so many opportunities to talk, pray, dance, eat, care for one another, be silly and laugh at our own farts! Some of them have been EPIC, my only regret is that we weren’t able to record them, and share the “joy of flatulence” with other people. nevertheless, those memories are etched in my mind, stored into the long-term files. These men are truly unique creatures. I am so proud to have been chosen to bring them into the world, and I am glad they affirm and wholeheartedly support my parenting efforts. They are so forgiving, loving, caring, astute, wise beyond their years, creative, and funny! Yeah, I’m a proud momma bear.
Most importantly and intentionally, I am grateful for God’s
provision and protection. This has been a year of shifting perspectives,
challenging emotions, healing and breakthrough, compassion and empathy, growth,
contemplation, meditation, and introspection. God has been at the center of it
all, taking precedence, making His presence known, comforting, imparting
clarity and peace. Every day, several times a day, I find myself uttering my
favorite three word prayer, “Thank You, Lord”; sometimes in a whisper, sometimes
in a shout for joy, sometimes in catharsis, sometimes in pain, always with a
grateful heart and mindset.
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give
thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (I Thessalonians
5:16-18, NKJV)
With this missive I send out intentional and purposeful
prayers for a blessed and prosperous new year.
GOD BLESS US ALL
